I see it says on the news today that some scientists in Switzerland (I think?) have discovered that our brain cells start dying off faster than they grow when we are in our forties, not in our sixties as previously thought. So we can all expect to see a reduction in our mental capacity sooner rather than later.
Well, frankly that’s come as no surprise and I could have told them that staggering fact without spending gazillions of euros or whatever it has cost for two academics who have never been out into the real world to do several years worth of expensive research to justify their existence.
For me, the decline has already started! For ages now, I have been going into rooms and forgetting why I’m there, forgetting appointments (unless I write them down) and feeling mentally exhausted at the end of each day presumably because my brain is dying off faster than it regenerates and simply doesn’t have the capacity any more for the enormous amounts of useless information I try to cram into it.
Even without mental degeneration, I am constantly amazed that I have got this far through life without :-
a) being arrested (I get crosser with life and other people than I used to and whilst not doing anything obviously criminal, I do throw insults around occasionally and I have been known to tell fibs),
b) going bankrupt (because I am a spendthrift) or
c) suffering a fatal injury (I am extraordinarily clumsy – you would not believe how much I bump into things, drop things, trip over, break things and so on)
Therefore it is something of a worry to discover that on top of my natural clumsiness / irritability / financial recklessness / etc, I am going to become vague and lacksadaisical as well because my brain is dying.
I’m only 50 for goodness sake. Good health and luck permitting, I should have at least another 30 years in me if not more. There’s no way I would want to lose my mental faculties whilst retaining robust physical ones; I can’t think of anything worse unless it’s the other way round (actually, to be mentally alert but physically degenerating must be dreadful, so perhaps that is worse). There are lots of things I want to do when I don’t have to work any more, and most of them need me to have all my marbles intact!
Supposedly there are super foods which you can eat to increase your brain power. Apart from fish, which my mother always used to tell me would make me clever (how?) I have no idea what they are and even the fish thing could be a fib. So I better find out and eat more of them. That of course, flies totally in the face of cutting back on the grub to lose the weight I want to and become a supermodel look alike again (and if you don’t remember me like that, you obviously haven’t known me that long!).
So what should I do? Eat more to save my brain or….. now what was the other thing?
