Be positive. Definitely.

I’m always moaning about work in these postings, I know. The commuting on an overcrowded, overpriced and inadequate public transport system, the dull and pointless nature of some of the work which doesn’t really make a difference to people’s lives (unless you count giving a multi millionaire permission to extend his excessively large, luxury house even further with a gym, cinema and underground garage for his Ferraris and Bentleys), the constant ungratefulness of public sector customers, the moaning and complaining from colleagues and the sheer grind of it all gets you down.

So I have decided to be more positive in my communications. Continually griping doesn’t actually make me feel any better and must be incredibly depressing for those that either bother to read my missives or take the time to listen to me.

The problem is I tend to see the world in a rather black and white way. As far as I can see, no one makes any allowances for me so why should I make them for other people. I’ve always been fairly forthright in my opinions (you might have noticed) because my parents taught me not to have hidden agendas and to be open and honest about what you think and feel. As it turns out, that was a pretty crap piece of advice to give because being open and honest as well as forthright makes you no friends and does you no favours. And boy, have I found out the hard way!

My mouth constantly gets me into trouble. And it isn’t even that I fail to stop and think. I DO stop and think, the problem is I mostly think “What the hell” and say it anyway. Quite often, I fail to understand why someone gets upset or angry about something I may have said or written, because to me it’s just a statement of the facts and not said with any malice.

I have discovered throughout my life that really and truly, no one is completely on your side. And that doesn’t mean that someone should always agree with you all of the time; some disagreement and challenge is healthy, and it’s good to hear alternative views and approaches to things. But it is quite surprising how many people underhandedly and actively brief against you just because they don’t like the fact that you have a different approach or will challenge them. I have discovered, for instance, that a member of a group I belong who is now in an influential position is actively briefing against me being a Director again for that group. I don’t know why, but I can only assume that it is simply because they think I will not allow them to do what they want or that they won’t be a shoo in for a role. Their priorities are all wrong – I’m a bloody good Director (not just my own opinion). And I always have the good of the organisation at heart, not just personal aggrandisement. Their loss!

But in the brave new world, I’m not going to let any of that matter because, in the grander scheme of things, it doesn’t. Those people can be as petty and small minded as they like and they can drown in their own bitterness because I’m bigger than them; I have been through a considerable amount of adversity and angst in my life and I’ve come out the other side. I have a husband that loves me (and doesn’t see me as a cash cow or as some romanticised duplicate of his sweet but compliant mother) (well, third time lucky!), two modern and intelligent daughters, a lovely granddaughter and a gorgeous dog. Oh, and two fluffy cats whom I adore and a job which might be horrible but pays reasonably well. I’m clever enough to see my own shortcomings, unlike some of the others, and to know when they matter. I have a reasonably good health and exciting plans for the future.

So I’m going to think of positive, exciting and interesting things to blog about over the next few months. That’s in between writing my books, doing my radio presenting and doing only what makes me happy and gives me fulfilment instead of what everyone expects me to do or what causes me stress and anxiety.

It’s either that or an early grave, and I know which I’d prefer.