Michelin Man next to me!

An enormously fat man sat next to me on the train today. Not only was he very fat, but he smelled a bit and had a runny nose which made him sniff constantly. As you can imagine, he irritated me intensely. He was so fat that he spilled over the edge of his seat onto mine, and so I took great pleasure in pushing the arm of the seat down between us and squidging him into his seat alone, meaning he looked like a sort of side ways on Michelin Man with vertical rolls of fat running from chin to crotch!

Of course I'm not exactly sylph like myself yet, although as you will know I am aiming for supermodel status by the summer, at which time I will buy myself the first bikini for several years to show my newly honed body off on the beach and flash my tiger tattoo (strategically placed on the top of my right buttock) to all and sundry. I had originally thought about a red bikini, but seeing as I usually get sunburned and go a similar colour to a ripe tomato that might not be a good idea and so I'll probably settle for a royal blue one with white polka dots. Or maybe glittery Union Jack patterns. Tasteful!

To be honest, I don't know why I really worry about my weight when I look around me. And in particular, when I look around me on the beach. There are an amazing array of lardy men and women flashing the flesh or wearing unsuitable clothes where ever you look, and clearly none of them have peeked in a mirror for years and seen what a beached whale lookalike they are. 

Actually, I do know why. I love nice clothes and as I have put on weight over the years (it's snuck up on me like a child playing 'What's the time Mr Wolf') I have noticed that certain styles just don't look nice any more. Whilst there's nothing wrong with various bits of me when taken as stand alone body parts, they don't seem to fit together very well any longer. I have been reduced to shopping for virtually all my clothes (ie not just my knickers and bras) in M&S because they are one of the few places where I know I will get something to fit, and even some of their more trendy ranges major on smaller sizes. It is when I go shopping that it really is driven home to me. (Shoes, on the other hand, always fit. Feet never seem to get fat! At least, that's my excuse).

To be hugely overweight must be so uncomfortable. This chap this morning had tight clothes (I could see his waistband straining on his suit trousers), clearly felt all hot and sweaty carrying all that weight around, been breathless as so many very fat people are and was squashed into a chair which was far too small for him. Even at a heavier weight now, at least I have a few inches either side of me when I sit down in  a train or plane seat and I don't need an extension to my seat belt.

It's a lesson for the future and while I have fallen off the wagon slightly this week (we had people to dinner at the weekend and there is still leftover pudding!) I remain determined. I will not be like that when I am older - I want to wear fashionable clothes which don't leave their mark on me when I take them off, be able to do things which require energy and be able to travel in comfort. It's getting harder, but I will persevere!