The telephone is not necessarily a totally good thing!

I have decided that the telephone is the most impolite thing ever invented.

When I was a child (admittedly a long time ago) I was always taught not to interrupt other people when they were speaking and to wait my turn politely in a conversation and not jump in and ‘out shout’ others. I taught my own children pretty much the same thing in the name of good manners and retaining my sanity.

We would never have dreamed of just walking up to someone who was otherwise engaged and demand they give us their attention immediately, or of expecting someone to get up from an unfinished dinner to speak to us. But that’s pretty much what using the telephone does.

Three times this week I have been in conversation with someone, either in a work meeting or in a social setting, and their phone has rung. Immediately, they have fished it out of their pocket or bag and despite the fact that on at least one of these occasions they had been in the middle of a sentence explaining something fairly complex, they answered it and interrupted what they were doing. Only once did the person apologise afterwards, and on none of these occasions was the call urgent, nor did it need to be dealt with straight away.

I find that sort of situation the height of rudeness, I really do, coming very close second behind people that talk unnecessarily loudly on their phone in a public place. Just because your phone has rung doesn’t mean you necessarily have to answer it. If it’s urgent (and it very rarely is) somehow, some way, you will be reached.

I have noticed that other people find it very hard not only to ignore their phone when it is ringing, but also to switch it off. Our children, when they were teenagers, used to leave their phones on all night and at all hours we used to hear the beeping or loud vibrations when a night owl called or a late text was sent. It drove me nuts, especially when I had to get up for work the next day.

Personally, when I walk through my front door my mobile is switched off. If people want me, and I want to talk to them, they will have my landline number. I thoroughly dislike being contactable 24/7 and the number of junk calls I get on my mobile is increasing (due, I think, to the fact that when you use the web, in particular price comparison sites, you often have to give a contact phone number and I use my mobile number).

We often have ‘dinner for two’ evenings. Mobiles are switched off (all of them) the BT phone is unplugged, the computer is off, we disconnect the doorbell and shut the curtains. We put on some music, have a good bottle of wine and a nice dinner, just the two of us, without any interruptions from the outside world thus guaranteeing us some quality time. The first time we did this The Hubby was quite apprehensive – “What if there is an emergency?” he wailed, probably concerned that his poisonous ex would be trying to get hold of him about something trivial and become irate because he wasn’t jumping to command. “The phone’s off for two hours, three hours max,” I said. “What can happen?” Of course, nothing did.

We’ve done this several times now and it’s a wonderful de-stressor. Being at the world’s beck and call means we never truly relax and by and large, very little is so urgent it needs instant reaction or response. It’s just that we have got used to it, which makes anything else seem unusual or odd. I didn’t even have a mobile phone until about 18 years ago, and only bought one then because I had a job which meant I was travelling alone late at night and wanted the security in case my broken down old car clapped out. I still wonder whether I might be better off without one.