Only four total d***heads? Is that all? Really?

There are four people in my office, which comprises about 120 very different individuals, whom I really cannot abide. At least two of them make my flesh crawl just by being in the room. All four are men.

Why do I hate them so much (I think the feeling is mutual, by the way)? Well, here we go, let’s air all my prejudices and dislikes:-

1)    A raging Queen obvious to all to see, but not out and proud and in total public denial. Throws full blown tantrums over ridiculously minor stuff and is totally change averse.

2)    A dinosaur stuck in the 60’s who calls women ‘chicks’ and ‘babes’, wears hush puppies and corduroy jackets and has hair which is creeping over his collar leaving a slightly greasy neckline. Rarely does any work, and whatever you try to talk to him about, says it’s the first he’s heard of it. The first flesh crawler!

3)    A fat arrogant slob who, despite being just a junior planner and having vastly less experience and knowledge, thinks he is better than and more qualified than me and is staggeringly rude at every opportunity. This one is the second flesh crawler.

4)    An up-his-arse urban designer who has managed to get away with doing very little for several years and thinks he’s God’s gift, and so makes a full time occupation out of being a total knob!

Most people I can tolerate in fairly close proximity and most of the time probably can ignore fairly effectively. These four, I bristle just at the sight of and they can annoy me by simply walking into a room.

I know it’s irrational, and I know it’s unreasonable to feel like this, but it’s just the way it is. Perhaps it stems from the fact that I am charged with bringing about organisational change and don’t have any time to suffer fools (as those of you that know me well will be aware of) and in my early days these four were the main protagonists and blockages to modernisation, so we crossed swords fairly regularly. I don’t know; I can’t explain it and no matter how hard I try, cannot shake off the feelings. They’re with me to stay.

In contrast, there are a few people that I like a lot and who, despite varying degrees of incompetence and annoyingness, it is impossible to be cross with for long if at all. There’s simply no sense to it at all!

I acknowledge of course, that there is very little I can do to change these people and probably nothing, so I have to find coping strategies for them and most of the time that comprises ignoring them as much as possible. When pushed, I have to force myself to listen to what they say because maybe, just maybe, they may have a valid point in a discussion, but it’s a struggle because in my head, before they start they have no credibility.

There must be people like them in every office, and we must all, if we work, have colleagues we feel similarly about. Please someone tell me I’m not alone! I know I’m not the most tolerant of other people and most of the time would rather spend my life in glorious isolation, but generally speaking I manage to rub along with most including a complicated and awkward family. So I don’t think it’s me. But then there must be a common denominator, so perhaps it is?

I’ll probably never know, because most people are not blessed with the gift of honesty and won’t say what they think. Why can’t we just be straightforward from time to time, and if someone is being a total dick just tell them instead of nodding politely and then slagging them off behind their backs. It might at least make the workplace more lively!