I haven’t blogged for a few days. It’s not laziness or lack of opinions (as if) but lack of time.
I am sick to death of life being so busy and having so many things to think about. And I am even more fed up of everyone being such a pain in the arse.
I have worked hard all my life to be where I am today, and whatever else I have been, I have always been true to myself. I have never taken anything which isn’t mine, never swindled anyone (well, I did tell a white lie to the insurance company once about how my computer got damaged, but that’s all) never sponged off the state and never deliberately or maliciously set out to hurt or annoy anyone. And yet somehow, a succession of people one after the other seem hell bent on making my life or The Hubby’s life difficult.
I have decided that most people simply cannot cope with honesty and would rather live in a customised fantasy land where no one ever tells them the time of day or any home truths. I was brought up to always tell the truth, and by and large I’ve always done so. Experience and age has taught me to dress it up sometimes into a palatable form – when I can be bothered - but I have never shied away from confronting a situation and dealing with it face on. But I think it is that uncompromising honesty and straightforwardness which sets me into a different mindset than most and makes me no friends.
It’s been a crap few years, by and large. Health issues which have piled one upon the other, stagnant salaries and increasing bills, ever more unsatisfying work, bereavements, difficulties with family and having to deal with deluded and twisted individuals in a social environment have all contributed to a feeling that I really want to cut ties, do something drastic and start again. I don’t mean something dreadful drastic (ie suicide/divorce/giving away my shoe collection) but simply to re-evaluate life and decide what is important. The bugger is that I will, still, have to work. I’m not going to beat myself up over decisions I’ve made in the past few years, but they have now in the current situation come back to haunt us and life is going to be considerably more difficult than it might have been if I had been more prudent.
A very recent event has forced some difficult decisions about money, and it is becoming increasingly clear to me that striving to earn a senior manager’s salary and hang on for a final salary-ish pension is really not worth the price I am now paying. Nor is hanging onto the UK property ladder worth losing your sanity over. I’ve never really had an ambition to be a ‘lady who lunches’, but I really don’t want to carry on being a ‘lady who commutes and works her socks off’. It’s incredibly tempting to simply sell up, pay off both the mortgages (don’t forget I have a house in Greece which I adore) work out how much money we need to live in a basic way, resign and do something more fulfilling.
I’m not sure I’d have the guts, but it’s very tempting.
