Elections!

Elections seem to be everywhere at the moment.


We've just had the local elections in the UK, with a big turnover of local councillors and councils changing hands left, right and centre (literally!). The French have just had their presidential election and got rid of Mr Sarkozy and his bimbette of a wife, and not before time. There were elections in Greece too with disastrous outcomes of a hung parliament biased against the austerity measures and unable to form any sort of coalition, and of course London has just narrowly voted the gloriously clownish Boris Johnson into County Hall for a second four year term.


I'm not sure any of this wil make a great deal of difference to you and me. The pile of poo we are all in due to reckless banking and sharp practices is so deep it will take a miracle to get us all out of it and no amount of political posturing and grand speeches will change that. I suspect we will all just have to carry on making the best of it, and somehow or other most of us will muddle through and come out the other side.


At least Boris is a character, and it's probably that which has endeared him to the London electorate (in direct contradiction to the tories pretty dismal showing nationally) and got him re-elected. His bumbling public school persona, masking what is a brilliant intellect (and he does disguise it very well) and his tendency to swear on camera and say what he thinks are all great traits in a politician and sadly lacking in most central government office holders, who are so petrified of putting their foot in it with one minority group or another, or so constrained by spin doctors and 'advisors' - most of whom seem about 14 and fresh out of kindergarden - they become identikit grey suits, with the possible notable exception of Ken Clarke, who seems to glory in making giant sized gaffes.


Despite the fact that I work in local government, I'm very bored with politics and if you ask me, they are all as bad as each other no matter what party they represent. David Cameron and George Osbourne are both posh boys out of touch with anyone except their public school mates, Nick Clegg is a man desperate to find his niche and so ends up flip flopping around and pleasing no one (especially his own party) and Ed Miliband is just a squashed nosed over-ambitious prat who will say anything if he thinks it makes him look clever.


How would it be if we sacked the lot of them and put it to the popular vote about who we replaced them with, and said it could be anybody people liked - anyone at all? Who do you think we'd get? Jordan probably, possible Simon Cowell and Amanda Holden, and maybe David Beckham. I'm not sure they could do any worse a job, so maybe we ought to let them have a go? And while we're at it we could sack the droves of out of touch and overpaid civil servants that fawn around the offices of state and make such a balls up of things, leaving their ministers to carry the can. The border control fiasco is one example, and there have been many more.


If I was in charge, that's what I'd do !