A Very Nice Day!

I didn't blog yesterday because I was having a Very Nice Day. After a week behind a desk playing with a computer (they all think I'm working and thinking deep strategic thoughts, but that's because I am a superb actress) I simply didn't want to sit down at another one and write several paragraphs of mindless drivel - even though I enjoy it when I do it.

We got up late, went into town to do a few chores, had a nice lunch at Pizza Express, came back, did a bit of tidying in the garden and then had a nice dinner with a bottle of wine. Just the two of us, with no interruptions and no problems to deal with. You wouldn't believe how rare such an occasion is.

Personally, I find it very easy to have a slow paced, relaxing day like that with no guilt whatsoever about the ironing / food shopping / hoovering / other domestic drudgery. I have no elderly parents to think about, and no particularly troublesome adolescents. The Hubby is not so fortunate, with troublesome relatives every way he turns and a deeply ingrained sense of guilt if he is not gainfully occupied every minute of the day. That's why he looks like s**t by the end of the week; well, I say by the end of the week because it used to be he looked like that by Friday evening. Then it advanced to Thursday, and now quite often he looks like it by Wednesday night, poor sod. He should get more sleep.

There is a big difference between us in how we sleep. Due to the reasons outlined above, The Hubby is asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. I can always tell because the snoring starts; discretely at first, more like heavy open mouthed breathing, then slightly louder like the snorty noise cute little piglets make, then real corkers. He's a fidgeter as well, so his legs and arms twitch like mad. I put up with it for a while, then give him a hard poke in the ribs and he turns over, which gives temporary respite. I'm a dreadful sleeper - take ages to get off, then wake up every three or four hours and can't get back to sleep. I sleep very lightly, so the room has to be dark and absolutely quiet and still. You can see that as far as sleep is concerned, we are incompatible!

A resolution for 2012 is to find more time for us. 2011 was difficult with children at various key stages of life which need a lot of attention (starting first jobs, chosing 'A' level courses, starting uni), family bereavements, health issues and work becoming manic,  so outside of holidays we had very little time as a couple. We both missed it, and when you don't get it, you realise how important it is. So we are making more effort - coffee at the weekends, the odd long weekend away, time taken just doing stuff together like yesterday. So far, so good, but it is only January.

I'm the last person qualified to give advice to anyone on how to look after their relationship, but if my disastrous track record has taught me anything it's that you have to make time for each other, appreciate each other and enjoy each other. If you don't, one of you will quickly find someone else to do that with and things will go terribly wrong. At best, you will regress to being blind eyed house sharers, at worst, you will get acrimoniously divorced.

So we are aiming for more days like yesterday - low key, but very satisfying and more valuable than I can say. Everyone should do the same!