I find it staggering how rude some people can be these days, whether it be pushing and shoving to get to the front of a queue, not saying please or thank you, staring at you, poor personal hygiene such as sneezing or yawning without covering mouths or noses, or being totally inconsiderate with mobile phones or personal music. Only this morning, an oik (of almost 50 wearing a posh suit and tie) almost pushed me over in his haste to get the last train seat in the carriage. I almost kicked his shins in frustration and rage, but good manners prevented me.
I don't consider myself particularly old fashioned and I've not a great deal of respect for conformance to a cultural norm just to please others, but I was bought up to have good old fashioned manners and to show consideration to others in a public place. I feel great frustration that now, that doesn't seem to be the case - for instance groups of teenagers chattering and making a racket throughout the beginning part of a movie at the cinema (and the abuse you get if you tell them to shut up), noisy music through tinny headphones on the train right next to you (yes, I could listen to my own ipod to block it out but sometimes I just want peace and quiet at the end of a long and busy day), people discussing intimate details of their personal or working life at the top of their voices on the train.
Not so long ago, I sat opposite a chap who clearly had one conversation with his mistress (all lovely dovey and kisses over the phone) and then another conversation with his wife (irritated, intolerant and demanding). Not only was it embarrassing, it was nauseating. But he wasn't embarrassed in the slightest.
Another example is when I was shopping in the supermarket not long after having my knee op. I was still wearing the bandage, walking with a stick and clearly uncomfortable. An old woman, who was aged but sprightly, pushed in front of me at the checkout queue for no good reason than she couldn't be bothered to wait and she thought she had a right to go first. In fact, she had no right, and simply didn't care about anyone else. So bad manners are not the preserve of the young; quite a few oldies could do with a lesson in politeness and living in harmony with your fellow man too. .
Often it's me that gets up from my seat on the tube for an old biddy or a clearly tired and suffering pregnant woman while all the men sit with their heads firmly esconsed in their newspapers. I make a point of saying please and thank you in shops, although I'm not sure why I bother because no one bothers to be pleasant back.
I think it's time for a return to old fashioned civility and courtesy. We should be correcting our children (and maybe others too) when they fail to be polite, teach them respect for others not just because they are children and other people are old but simply because the world is full of other people, we have to live with them and we might as well make it pleasant. I'm reminded of the fairy tale character I read about when I was a child, Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-by. I think it's time she came back.
Sadly true. One of the many reasons we got the hell out of the UK was because we felt people were just getting more disrespectful and unpleasant. In Canada, although there are exceptions of course, we have no queue jumping, little intolerance, no disrespect and virtually everyone is polite and well-mannered, especially shop and check-out staff. When they say 'have a great day', 9 times out of 10 they mean it. I don't think Canadians are especially better people, but I do think it has a lot to do with education, particularly at home (Canadians will never tolerate their children being badly behaved), no overcrowding and a slower pace of life. Good manners start at home and it is apparent to me that families put far more emphasis on the important aspects of living in a society over here than they do over there.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree whole-heartedly with this post, Although my experience has been slightly different. I deal with rudeness on a daily basis at my job as a clerk. Just today, I actually had someone call me "Downright Ignorant" when I wouldn't allow a customer to leave with merchandise before it was paid for. I also had an elderly woman call me, "contrary" merely for politely telling her the actual price on an item versus what she thought it was. These are pretty mild scenarios, but I have seen people be completely rude and horrible not just to me but to their spouses and children. The best way I know to deal with rude people is to be as polite as possible back (while standing up for yourself, of course) and to smile knowing someday that person will have to answer to God for all of the mean and hurtful things they said to people.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree too, my generation never bothered much with please and thankyou as it appeared a bit unnecessary most of the time. But these days, over the past 5 years ive noticed a gradual worsening of peoples attitudes in public. When out and about I observe people laugthing at other people who are disadvantaged by being poorer. Once a group of middle class women stopped to watch a couple of poor people and there dog walk up the street. Words like chav were used. People think that its ok to give strangers condersending looks if they think they are on benifits. People stare more these days, and with men it can lead to fights. Its also hard to look at someone in passing in many inner citys without them wondering what your looking at. Security staff in bars always have attitudes. Shop assistants tend to talk to each other while serving customers. In primark I have been served without even been looked at while they chatted about their personal life. People dont appear to know the boundrys between themselves and others. On the flip side there s lots of those types using politics as warfare, by taking offense at lack of political correctness while making to allowances towards those who have not had the opportunity to learn politically. The ones who do this tend to be young white middle class educated at uni types. They jump on any political band wagon around at the time, and ruin it with their red tape. They also use it against less advantaged people to push them out of popular culture. Most people today have lost any ability to organise in a unified way against the system. As a result of all the above the system wins.
ReplyDeletePart of the internet rudness has nothing to do with being anonymous.
ReplyDeleteThis generation and the one before it was the generation of self entitlements where people grew up thinking the world owed them something for the trouble of their ancestors which helped form the *welfare* handout state which goes along with the goals of the Fabien society to break the current government system for a one world system.
Both political parties want a one world order and are selling out the American citizens for it.
The Democrats have their big rich guys and the Republicans have theirs though the Demos want a one world welfare system while the Republicans are part of the rich 1 percent bankers who want a one world banking scheme.
The Republicans including both Bush's all signed laws that are to help form NAFTA. (North American Free Trade Agreement) which in reality would make Mexico and Canada super rich and the USA dirt poor sending our industry away.
The Amero dollar system would emergy by making/forcing the US Dollar to crash making it worthless.
It is likely Bush caused the 2008 crash in order to try and kick start the Amero system seeing he panicked about the Democrats taking over which at that point it was likely Hillary Clinton would've won if Mit Romney lost .
Obama was actually a nobody even to the Democrats at that time frame and Obama Care was called Hillary Care which at least she would've made it not so broken not that I agree with it but at least she would've been more professional about the whole system in order to make it look like something is being done.
The Chinese haven't forced us to pay off our debt to them in full likely because we would stop buying from them and it would all blow back in their face if they attempted to kill the economy fast.
ReplyDeleteMost of their own citizens are too poor to afford electronics unless you are in line with the political party. Special treatment is given to visitors so they won't look *evil* about it.